so cartouche-dreams school is celebrating caribbean culture this week and we went to a “Soca Motion” dance class (like Zumba but imagine every west indian carnival/ parade dance moves… i honestly didnt know what i had signed up for… thought it was gonna be a documentary or somethin)

CLEARLY i was too into it cause my legs… my back…

we had a good time tho

random list

songs with my name in it

  1. Freek-A-Leek - Petey Pablo
  2. Shawty Is A 10 - The Dream
  3. Monique - Frank Sinatra
  4. Monique The Freak - Ween
  5. Monique’s Room - Fred The Godson (name is actually just in the title)

I also found a rock song but idk if i really want to include it

,,

I once knew a man who came on very strong at the beginning of relationships, but couldn’t seem to help closing his heart as soon as a woman had opened hers. I have heard that kind of behavior referred to as an “addiction to the attraction phase” in relationships. This man did not maliciously go around hurting women. He sincerely wanted to be in a genuine, committed relationship. What he lacked were the spiritual skills that would enable him to settle down in one place long enough to build anything solid with an equal partner. As soon as he saw human faults and weaknesses in a woman, he would run. The narcissistic personality is looking for perfection, which is a way to make sure that love NEVER has a chance to blossom. The initial high can be so heady, so tantalizing, that the real work of growth which needs to follow the initial attraction phase can seem too dull, too hard to commit to. As soon as the other person is seen to be a real human being, the ego is repelled and wants to find somewhere else to play.

At the end of a relationship with someone like this, we feel as though we’ve taken cocaine. We had a fast and exciting ride, and it felt at the time like something meaningful was happening. Then we crashed and realized that nothing meaningful had happened at all. It was all made up. Now all we have is a headache, and we can see that this kind of thing isn’t good, isn’t healthy, and we don’t want to do it again.

But there’s a reason why we’re attracted to relationships such as this. We were drawn to the illusion of meaning. Sometimes someone who has nothing to offer in a real relationship can come on like they’re offering the world. They are so dissociated from their OWN feelings that they have become highly skilled performers, unconsciously playing whatever part our fantasies prescribe. But the responsibility for our pain still remains OUR own. If we hadn’t been looking for a cheap thrill, we wouldn’t have been vulnerable to the lie.

How could we have been so stupid? That’s the question we always ask ourselves at the end of these experiences. But once we’d had enough of them, we admit to ourselves that we weren’t really stupid AT ALL. We suspected this was a drug. The problem was, we wanted it. We saw exactly what the game was with this person, usually within the first fifteen minutes, yet we were so attracted to the high, we were willing to PRETEND we didn’t see it, for just a night, or a week, or however long it lasted. The fact that someone said to us, “You are so fabulous. You’re such a wonderful woman. This is such a great date. How lucky a guy is to get to date you,” when he’s only known you for an hour, is a blinking red light to any thinking woman. The problem is, the depth of our wounds can be so great—we can be SO hungry to hear those words, because deep down we suspect that they’re untrue—that hearing them can cause us to put aside all rational consideration. When we’re starved, we’re desperate.

Marianne Williamson (via mindofataurus)

Soo at my internship today I had to watch about an hour’s worth of international animated shorts and create trivia for kids to answer during the film festival.

I’m going to try my best to find them and share as many as I can cause they were truly refreshing. I just love when artists and studios maintain the aesthetic as opposed to just making stuff that mirrors the typical mainstream animations… Things they know will make them popular or something.

Noted…

hooch-mcgoot is on my list of low key very interesting people I’ve gotten to know on here. She doesn’t say much BUT I really appreciate her perspective and commentary when we chat.

Also she reblogs A LOT of good art inspiration/ref type things

**prays no one has the same Lupita drawing idea as you**

ive tried to explain to my friends who are natural that what good is “length retention” having long natural hair if its severally (heat) damaged? if it is barely curls back when its wet or keeps definition after a twist/ braid out?

idk its just that they rather not accept that they are sacrificing healthy hair for longer hair and that sucks cause when the damaged hair starts breaking off you’re going to lose to more inches than if you were to gradually trim it off over time

I turn 25 in 4 months and I completely understand whole pity party. datebynumbers response to that ask was much needed.

the main reason i dont like job interviews for positions are not related to a creative field is because they ALWAYS ask questions to see if you can think out of the box and when I answer they realize that i dont think ANYWHERE NEAR their damn box and im sure they’re like “yeah, she’s a no"… its actually really annoying

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What are some ways you can honor a deceased love one on their birthday?

phloeticexpressions:

amazelife:

i actually would really appreciate suggestions.

It can be something personal or a big thing. For my moms birthday we do a family cookout/grave visit. Did my brother I drink a Heineken, even though I hate them, because that was his favorite beer. I crack inside jokes on his Facebook wall…anything you decide to do is okay. It’s all apart of healing.

thanks for sharing… my dad passed 5 yrs ago and ive never been to his grave (military funerals dont actually let you see the burial)… yesterday was his birthday and my mom and i didnt speak about it… we never call my grandma or my aunts… literally EVERYONE acts like its just another day…its awful… THUS why ive decided to go back to grief counseling… and my therapist suggested i release a balloon or more for him but… it was easier to pretend yesterday was just another saturday :(

(Source: mindofataurus)

i wanted to be a cheerleader in high school but I REALLY couldnt get over how short the skirts were and i didnt join track cause the girls shorts were also shorter then they needed to be

Also I’ve been really happy for like a month and that’s with life throwing curve balls and being so unnecessary at times…

Not much about life has changed… If anything someone could say it has gotten worse for me but it doesn’t feel like it. Not at all… It’s weird.